The First Family Christmas
by imadoodlenoodle
Summary: It's Ginny's first Christmas at Malfoy Manor and she wants everything to be perfect. That's what she wants anyway, though with her family, chances are that's not what she'll get. 17 people alcohol the Twins A very merry Christmas.
1. Meet The Family

**The First Family Christmas**

_Chapter One: Meet The Family_

Draco had made sure that the house elves were on hand should Ginny need their assistance in preparing the meal. Not that she would ask for help, being as stubborn as she was, but he would have them handy, just in case.

Ginny had made sure that all the alcohol was locked away, with the key hung on a chain around her neck so that Draco wouldn't feel the need to start celebrating early.

Lucius had made sure that Narcissa was occupied during the morning, so that she wouldn't try to 'help'.

Molly had made sure that all the presents were ready to be transported to the Malfoy Manor, and ensured _no one _was able to steal one away to open early.

Hermione had made sure that her parents were okay with her spending the day with her friends, and acted the dutiful daughter the entire morning.

Harry had made sure that his date understood that she had to _try_ to be nice.

Snape had made sure that he had potions to combat Ms Weasley's cooking, a sobering potion to battle any excess drinking, and his emergency Portkey–just in case.

* * *

"I'm telling you, go away!" Ginny ordered the house elf standing in front her.

Unfortunately, Ginny's presence in the Malfoy home had the curious effect of making the house elves more like her: stubborn, in other words.

"We is sorry Mistress Ginny, but Master Draco said to ignore you." The house elf didn't look very sorry; in fact, looked downright smug.

"No, no he can't do that! I live here too. Don't I get a say? And stop smiling!" Ginny didn't need the house elves hovering over her, watching her every move, but they had their 'orders' to stay.

"Sorry Miss, but youse is not married to Master Draco yet, so your orders don't matter so much."

Ginny groaned. "Look, he told you to be here if I needed your help. Well, I don't need your help, so you should go away, and leave me to it!"

The elf looked doubtful and voiced his concerns, "But what if youse is needing us? We won't be being here, and all the food wills be ruined!"

Ginny fought of the urge to be offended. "I can assure you that I know how to cook. If I need your help, I'll call for you. Okay?"

The look of doubt didn't leave the elf's face, but he nodded his head anyway and silently trooped out of the kitchen, along with four other elves.

_Why was that so hard__? _Ginny thought. _I'm going to have to have a word with Narcissa. __S__he should be able to over__-__rule Draco's orders. I don't have the time to find loopholes w__henever__ I want __to get __something done._

Ginny busied herself with preparing the turkeys. There were three of them altogether, all monster-sized birds that had to be readied for cooking. As she stuffed and basted, Ginny finally realised what a large task she had before her, and this was just the turkeys. There were still the vegetables, the potatoes, those little sausages wrapped in bacon, the...

Ginny's mouth dropped in horror as she grasped the magnitude of preparing a Christmas meal for seventeen people.

"What have I done?"

* * *

"This is my house. I was here first! Who does she think she is? I only wanted a glass of wine, but noooo, I can't even have that! Are you sure there's nothing you can do?" Draco's tirade stopped as he directed his question to the house elf, who had been dutifully listening to his rant since it started, ten minutes ago.

"There's being nothing we's can be doing, Sir. The cabinet is being locked by Miss Weasley, and it's being resistant to magics by your father."

"I know that. I know all of that! I had to watch him do it, remember? I don't know why he was so extreme. It was only a little party and people weren't _really _drunk. You would have thought he'd have removed them by now. That party was years ago! There is nothing, nothing whatsoever you can do?"

"Nothings, Sir."

Draco sighed and admitted defeat, for now. "Very well. Go and do something." Draco dismissed the elf with a wave of his hand and turned away. "There has to be some way I can get in. If I can't break it open, and the elves can't do anything, then maybe the only way is to get the key," he puzzled aloud, and the house elf shook his head in pity before disappearing to 'go and do something'.

* * *

"Oh, Lucius it just won't go in!" Narcissa complained.

They were both lying on the floor in their bedroom, occupying themselves so that they wouldn't get in the way of the preparations.

"Nonsense!" Lucius cried. "It's gone in before; it'll go in again." Lucius tried to put it in harder, but it still wouldn't go.

"Why don't you try and move it about a bit?" Narcissa suggested, beginning to get bored.

"I don't know why it won't just go straight in. Have you done anything?" Lucius accused, refusing to have the blame put on him.

"No I haven't! Look, try and put it somewhere else. You never know, it might work better elsewhere."

Lucius tried one last time before giving up. "Why did we even try this? We never get anywhere," he complained.

"I told you I'd rather have sex, but no, you wanted to do a puzzle," Narcissa said with pale blonde eyebrows raised.

"Fine!" Lucius snapped and stood up, abandoning the puzzle and his wife on the floor.

He strode over to their bed and climbed onto it. Narcissa lazily watched him but became more interested when he began to undress.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Get over here, you tiresome wench."

Narcissa had started towards bed before he even finished his sentence.

* * *

"George! Fred! Whichever one of you it is, get away from that pile!" Molly Weasley had been standing protectively over the heap of presents all morning, but even she couldn't ignore nature, so she had run to the bathroom.

Having waited all morning for this, the twins began dismantling the various wards and traps that surrounded the pile. They were working as fast as they could, but there were just so many to get through. As it was, they still had another minutes worth of work left when Molly finally returned.

"I can't believe you two! This is your sister's first Christmas in her new home, and she's trying to make it perfect. Not for herself, but for us! And here I find you, trying to ruin it! I'm in two minds to send you back to your flat. You could wait there, you know! You don't have to be here!" Molly started raging at the two men, oblivious to the other Weasleys gathering around her.

Eventually, Arthur realised that Molly was just repeating herself over and over again, so he stepped in.

"Hey, love. Come on. I think they know that they were wrong." Arthur looked at the Twins, and they took their cue to begin their apologies.

Overwhelmed, Molly burst into tears and had to be guided to the sofa to sit down. "It's her first Christmas, Arthur! This is the first time Ginny's doing all the work. She isn't coming home to us, and we have to go to her! She's all grown-up now!"

"Now, now. Ginny is just doing this because it _is _her first Christmas away from home. Next year, you'll be doing it again! She'll be coming to us, bringing Draco as her husband. She might also bring Narcissa and maybe even ..." Arthur's speech had been strong up until that point, but then he faltered on the last name. "And maybe Lucius will come too."

"Oh, Arthur, do you think so?" Molly looked up at her husband for reassurance.

"I know so, Dear."

Molly opened her mouth again but caught sight of two new arrivals. "Bill! Fleur! How long have you been here? How was the journey?

Molly left Arthur's arms and began to bombard her eldest son with questions.

The Twins subtly carried on working at the pile of presents and had just cracked it when they saw Arthur watching them. He raised an eyebrow and mouthed 'one' before pulling out his wand. George and Fred grabbed a present each and ran out of the room. Arthur then started to recreate the wards and traps.

* * *

When Hermione had woken up and gone downstairs for breakfast, she found both her parents seated at the table. Her father was reading a newspaper, and her mother had just finished cooking breakfast.

"Morning, Dear!" Mary Granger called from the hob.

"Morning, Mum," Hermione replied before opening the fridge and helping herself to some juice.

As she sat down at the table, she noticed that the paper her father was reading was out of date and proceeded to inform him of this fact.

"I know that, Hermione, but there isn't anything else available, and I need to read a newspaper to complete the stereotypical image of a family breakfast.

"Ahh, so that's why Mum is cooking?"

"Of course, do you think you would have survived into adulthood if we left your mother in charge of feeding us _all the time_?"

Hermione tried to smother her laughter, but Mary still saw the smile on her daughter's face as she brought over breakfast.

"Richard, you're poisoning your daughter against me."

"You're right, Dear," he replied with a nod of his head. "It was wrong for me to interject. You can handle poisoning her all by yourself."

Hermione didn't even try to stop her laughter this time.

* * *

"Listen, can you just try to be, well, _nice_? Just this once?"

"Excuse me? 'Just this once'? I _am _nice, Harry Potter!"

"Just not conventionally nice?"

Harry Potter and his girlfriend were currently wrapped up together bed. It was cold outside but warm under the covers. So although they had both been awake for a while now, they were still in bed.

"Why do we even have to go? Mother and Father said we are welcome to join them in France. Why didn't we go to France, Harry?"

"Do I have to go over it all again?" Harry asked tiredly.

"Yes, yes you do. I'm not fully convinced that it's not too late to bail to the continent."

"Pansy, you talk so funny sometimes."

"Oh, shut up, Potter and get to convincing." Pansy glared at Harry.

"The Weasley's are my family, and it's Christmas."

Pansy held a hand up to stop Harry. "No, I want a new excuse. You've used that one soooo many times now!"

"You wanted me to go over it all again. I'm doing what you wanted!"

"As you should. I hadn't realised that your arguments are so ingrained on my mind. Surely you have other ways of persuading me...?"

Pansy let her sentence trail off at the end and smirked as she saw the realisation dawn in Harry's eyes.

"Finally," she muttered as Harry began drawing her into his arms.

"Be nice to them, okay?" Harry pleaded more so than asked.

"Yes! I will be delightful! Now start persuading!"

* * *

Severus Snape had just returned from the Christmas breakfast where he was forced to sit between a Hufflepuff and a Gryffindor, opposite the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall. If there was any more cheer going around, he would have begun twitching.

It was a very happy affair, and everyone was cheerful, and happy and smiling and laughing and talking. Snape shuddered. Why couldn't everyone just sit still and be quiet, talking in low voices and allowing him to pretend that they weren't there? Instead, they tried to draw him into every conversation and joke. His glare didn't even seem to have its usual effect. Well, except the Hufflepuff. Really, if he had known that all he had to do to be asked to leave was to make someone cry then he would have done it almost straight-away.

Luckily, he had been invited to the Malfoy's for the Christmas dinner, so he would not have to endure all of that again. Snape looked once more at the invite, noticing for the first time it mentioned bringing 'a bottle', something Severus had not bought. Great, he would have to make a detour to Hogsmeade first before heading to the Malfoy's for dinner.

It would be just him, the Malfoys, and the Weasley girl. A nice, refined dinner. Oh wait, she was supposed to be cooking.

Snape paled slightly before heading towards his potions cupboard. There was a mild anti-food poisoning draught in there somewhere. Better yet, there were also some strong ones.

* * *

**That was the first chapter, I'm expecting there to be around three or four. **

**This was written as a response to Cally's Christmas Challenge at the DG forum, I'll mention the things I included in the last A/N. **

**Anyway, how was it? Review if you liked it, or if you disliked it. **

**I will allow people who don't have a concrete opinion to review. **

**A big thank you to Ingonito3- I think it's 3... (Lia), for beta'ing this. Any mistakes you find are probably my changes after she beta'ed. **

**Thanks for reading. **


	2. Cooking, Guests and Wine

"DDDRRRRRAAAACCCOOOO!" Ginny let out a terrifying scream that was heard throughout the house.

Draco ran into the kitchen as soon as he had heard Ginny calling his name. The next sentence she uttered, however, had him stop dead in his tracks and stare at her.

"The oven burnt the food!" she cried in frustration.

"I thought you were being murdered," he said, looking exasperated and beyond annoyed.

"The oven has burnt the food!" she repeated, refusing to be distracted.

Draco just shrugged. "Get the house elves to whip up some more," he suggested with a casual air.

"But I wanted to do this by myself!" she pouted.

"You haven't got time to get it all prepared and cooked."

"Well, I suppose," she relented, and then her eyes widened in horror. "Draco! The oven's burnt all the food―the turkeys! We have to go and buy more!"

"Don't worry, Ginny. We have extra turkey."

"Oh, thank the stars. I thou―why do we have extra turkey, Draco?" She uttered his name with such coldness that Draco was surprised Ginny wasn't frosting at the mouth.

He raised an eyebrow and looked down upon his fiancée with disdain. Fortunately, however, Draco had the perfect excuse prepared. "For your brothers, particularly Ronald.

Ginny blushed. "He doesn't eat that much!" she argued.

Draco snorted and turned to leave the kitchen when an idea dawned on him. "Ginny?"

"Yes...?"

"You admit that you're going to need the house elves to help to get everything done?"

"Uh huh..."

"And, you need a Malfoy to tell them to obey you; otherwise, everything shall be a disaster."

"You wouldn't."

"Give me what I want."

Ginny looked askance. "No, Draco! Don't you dare do this! You'll ruin the entire day!"

"Would that depress you?"

"If I say yes, would you tell the house elves to help me?"

"No, I would just tell you that spending the entire day with your family and Potter would depress me."

"Draco, look deep inside yourself. I know that deep deep deep down, you don't want that key."

Draco didn't say anything for a moment and paused. An unreadable expression crossed his face but then quickly disappeared. "Ginny, I've searched within myself."

"And?" Ginny asked hopefully.

"Deep down, I don't want the key―"

"Great!"

" ―I need key."

"What? I cannot believe you sometimes! You―you―you, Draco Malfoy, are an ass!"

"I guess you don't want their help after all."

"No! I do! Oh, why, Draco? Why?" Ginny cried, her face crumbling.

"When I'm sober, I hate your family. So for this day to go smoothly, I suggest you give me the key to the alcohol."

* * *

"Lucius."

"Murmph."

"Lucius."

"Uhrgh?"

"The Weasleys arrive in fifteen minutes. Do you think we should greet them?"

"No."

"No? Are you sure?"

"Do we have to?"

"Yes."

"Oh, well if we must." With this Lucius rolled off the bed and started pulling on his robes that had been discarded earlier.

"Lucius?"

"What now?"

"Are you really going to wear that?" Narcissa screwed up her nose and looked at the robes with contempt.

"You bought me these robes, what can be wrong with them?"

"Oh, it's not so much the robes, but the fact that they've been on the floor, and they're all crumpled."

Lucius looked down at himself, and his eyes widened in shock. "I... You're right. I was going to greet the Weasleys in these! Why, I'd look like one of them! Albeit more handsome, charming, and rich, of course."

Narcissa nodded. "Indeed. Now, we must hurry if we want to look like we went to no effort."

After ten minutes, the couple left the bedroom and headed for the foyer. A few minutes later, they were waiting for their guests to arrive.

"Really, you'd think they would be on time. We've gone to all this effort after all."

Lucius glanced at the Grandfather clock, the one his grandfather had given his great-grandfather for Christmas many many years ago. "Apparently they are not supposed to be here for another three minutes."

Narcissa opened her mouth to reply but was cut off by the doorbell being rung.

"Well, now! They've arrived early, what sort of people do that?"

"Not our sort of people, Dear."

They both straightened up and motioned for the house elf to answer the door. It did what it was told, and a moment later the patriarch and matriarch of the Weasley family were revealed.

"Molly, Arthur! How wonderful to see you!" Narcissa cried, stepping forward and planting a kiss on a cheek of each. She played the part of hostess perfectly, and to look at her you would not know how much she disliked her guests.

"It is wonderful to be able to invite you into our home," Lucius said, kissing Molly's cheek and shaking Arthur's hand.

"I agree, Lucius. Don't worry, I don't have a Ministry Order this time," Arthur joked with semi-seriousness.

Lucius gave a fake laugh before looking around the Weasleys and remarking, "Aren't you missing one? Or six?"

Arthur reddened and Narcissa subtly pinched Lucius in the side, causing his smirk to flicker. Molly laid a hand on Arthur's arm.

"Shall we settle the presents and then call for the rest of family?"

"A splendid idea, Molly. Lucius, why don't you show Molly to the tree while Arthur and I go and sort out some drinks for everyone in the sitting room?"

* * *

"What about this one?" Hermione held up a plain bottle of wine.

"Oh, yes, because the Malfoys are going to love the look of that."

"Harry, it's Christmas, and this is cheap booze. They go hand in hand, didn't you know?" Hermione replaced the bottle and glared at Harry. "I did tell you I was no good at this sort of thing. I've never bought magical wine before."

Harry looked around and groaned. "There's a difference between Muggle and magical wine? And you know nothing about magical wine?"

"Well, no. Actually, I do know that they are different because the magical wine uses different grapes than the Muggle wine. The grapes they use are unavailable to Muggles and obviously have different tastes. In fact, the magical wine uses grapes that that cannot be grown by Muggles due to the sheer amount of work that goes into producing them. For instance, the environment has to have a very low carbon level. Now, wizards have been able to stimulate this environment for centuries, but it is only now that Muggles have had the technology to simulate it. So many years have gone by that Muggles have forgot about this specific grape. It has..."

Harry ignored Hermione and let her voice become an annoying background noise. When she got like this, she wouldn't stop until she had exhausted her fountain of knowledge on the subject. That was not the only reason though. There, at the end of the aisle looking at Harry Severus Snape.

The men stared at each other before slowly drawing closer.

"Snape."

"Potter."

"How's your holidays?"

"I'm enjoying the lack of students around. Yours?"

"Oh, they're great. Great."

They fell silent, forced polite inquires not being their thing.

Determined not to be the most embarrassed one, Snape looked around Harry and spied Hermione. "I had not realised you were dating Ms Granger." He looked back to Harry, who had a blush creeping up his neck.

"No, I'm,―we're―that is, we aren't dating. She's here helping me get some wine. I have a girlfriend, who isn't Hermione. No, it's actually, ah―Pansy."

Snape looked surprised. "Pansy Parkinson? The girl who used to fawn over Draco Malfoy?"

Harry's face hardened. "Yes, Pansy. We're having a meal with friends tonight where I'll be introducing her to them."

Snape nodded and smirked. "Ms Parkinson: the girl who fawned over Malfoy and now Potter. A fawning girl sounds perfect for you, Potter."

Harry opened his mouth, ready with an angry retort, but a not-so-subtle cough from Hermione stopped him.

"If you excuse us, Professor, we have to be going. We have to get ready for later, when we'll be spending the time with our family and friends."

Snape scowled. "I don't believe that fans count as friends, Potter, but I too am spending the day with friends. We're going to have a nice, quiet, refined, mature dinner. Something, I'm sure of which you have never had the pleasure of."

With that Snape spun around and headed towards the checkout, clutching a bottle of wine in his hand.

Hermione joined Harry as he began looking again at the shelves.

"Harry?"

"Yes, Hermione?"

"I heard the headmaster once mention that Snape knew his wine. And well, I did see the label on the bottle he was holding."

"Get the same wine as Snape? Hermione, the bottle he bought is probably as sour as he is!"

Hermione sighed. "Maybe, Harry, but we have to go soon, and we still haven't got anything. Come on, where's that daring Harry we all know?" she teased.

Harry regarded Hermione coolly. "Honestly, Hermione? Did you think that would work?"

"Well, no," she admitted, "but it was worth a go."

Harry shook his head. "Fine, go pick it up. I'll meet you at the checkouts?"

"Great!"

* * *

**Thanks for getting to this point. Good dedication. **

**My beta has changed, I didn't like the look of Incognito3's name. I didn't like the ass on the end. **

**So, my beta is now 1ncognito. Many thanks to her.**

**Ooh...what's that button? Oh yes, it's so you can review. That's nice of FFN, isn't it?**


	3. Cupboards and Freckles

Draco entered the kitchen where Ginny had been supervising the house elves. He watched as she ran after them, making sure that everything was running smoothly. He watched as an elf had to swerve to avoid her as she stepped into his path.

"Ginny, you're getting in way," Draco remarked with a smirk.

"I'm being helpful," Ginny replied scathingly.

Draco wished that he had gotten a puzzle for Ginny to do like his father had for his mother. Honestly, why were the Malfoy men so normal and the women they married so strange?

"Well, can you stop being helpful? You're parents have arrived."

Ginny looked up. "How long have they been here?" she demanded.

"About ten minutes. I really don't know. Mother and Father were taking care of them. I was in the study reading."

"Drinking more like," Ginny muttered. "Well, can you take this tray up to them? Go and be a good host like your parents?" Ginny held out a tray, which Draco took gingerly.

"You do realise we have servants for this sort of thing?"

"It's Christmas. It's meant to be cosy and about family—"

"Quaint, in other words?"

"—And servants would just be too formal. Now take the tray up. I've got to go and shower and get changed." Ginny pulled off her apron and put it on the counter, herding Draco out of the kitchen. "Why couldn't you have come down immediately and told me?" she huffed, looking entirely exasperated with her fiancé.

When they reached the foyer, Ginny nudged Draco into the sitting room and disappeared up the stairs. Everyone looked up as the blond entered the room, clutching a tray of food in his hands.

"Ah, excellent, Draco! I was just about to send for some food." Narcissa took control and the tray out of her son's hands. She set the tray down next to the drinks and welcomed everyone to take some. "Ginny's been working hard all day to get the food ready," she told the Weasleys. "She wouldn't let us help one bit!"

Molly looked surprised. "She's done everything herself? Oh, that must have been so much hard work. I mean, when I cook I usually have at least..." As Molly began recounting her normal Christmas routine Lucius and Arthur turned to stare at each other. They were still casting knowing glances at at one another when Molly's tale finished, and the two women began moving on to other topics of conversation.

Draco had sat watching them, but the entrance of Ginny broke his concentration. He immediately went over to his fiancée and told her what his mother had said, to warn her, and began talking about their fathers staring competition.

"All this time?" she asked, smiling.

"All of it," Draco confirmed.

"Has Mum told the others that they can come yet? Harry is arriving in three hours, and he wanted everyone to be here when he did."

Draco sneered. "Grand entrance?"

"No, he's bringing his new girlfriend and felt it would be better if they arrived last so everyone would meet her at once." Ginny frowned. "No-one actually knows who she is. Harry won't tell any of us."

"I bet you're worried then."

"No, why would I be?" Ginny asked, puzzled.

"Well, who is Potter dating that he cannot tell your family who it is? Do you think he is gay and is dating a man? I did warn you."

"Draco, for the last time, Harry is not gay! For Pete's sake. I went out with him!"

Draco fell silent and looked away.

"Oh, honestly, you aren't trying to imply that I turned him, are you?"

Draco smirked.

"You are an ass sometimes, Draco." Ginny sighed.

"I know," he whispered in her ear. "You do feel the need to remind me often."

Ginny ignored him and greeted her parents. "Merry Christmas, Mum, Dad!" she called, causing Molly to pause in her conversation and Arthur to jump, breaking eye contact with Lucius.

"Yes!" Lucius said, jumping up, looking smug.

"Lucius?" Narcissa asked icily.

Lucius looked around him and saw everyone staring at him.

He grappled for an excuse. "I was just—just agreeing with Ginevra. It is a merry day! And we'll have a Merry Christmas!" Lucius smiled cheerfully as everyone looked blankly at his actions.

Narcissa laughed. "You must excuse Lucius: he does get so excited around this time." She stood up and went over to him, wrapping her hand around his arm.

Lucius' wince was barely discernible, and he nodded in agreement with what Narcissa had said. "Do excuse me! I'm just so, darn excited?"

There was an uncomfortable pause, conveniently broken by the doorbell ringing.

"The doorbell rang!" exclaimed Lucius. "We must go and answer it, Narcissa."

Narcissa smiled awkwardly as she was pulled out of the room. Just as she left though, she was able to catch hold of Draco and whisper, "Get the alcohol out."

The door slammed shut behind the couple, and they returned to the spot where they had first greeted the Weasleys. Again, the elf answered the door.

"Severus! You're here, and earlier than you said you would be arriving. Are you well?" teased Narcissa.

Snape grimaced. "It was either an extra thirty minutes in your company or in the company of Dumbledore and the others."

"I can see why you'd join us then," Lucius commented, smirking.

Snape mimicked his smirk. "The lesser of two evils. Would anyone care to take this off me?" he asked, holding up the wine bottle.

Narcissa came forward and claimed the bottle, examining the label. "Wonderful, just a wonderful choice."

Lucius looked slightly concerned as her watch his wife examine the bottle. "Narcissa, why don't you join the others while Severus and I place the presents he has bought under the tree?"

Narcissa nodded and disappeared off down the hall.

"You look rather worried," Snape noted.

"Narcissa is a good hostess, but around Christmas time she is not her best. She gets ... merry."

Snape nodded in understanding. "She drinks a lot."

Lucius smiled wanly. "Like a fish, my friend. Like a fish."

* * *

The rest of the Weasleys arrived in due course, and Lucius and Narcissa spent most of the hour trying to remember which one was who. After a hectic two hours of entertaining, they both escaped under the pretence of checking on the food.

They ran to the nearest cupboard and sat down inside it. Keep in mind that a cupboard in the Malfoy Manor was a rather large cupboard, and there was plenty of room.

"Okay, I've got Bill, Charlie, George, and Ron."

"I know Bill, Percy, and Fred."

"Great! So we know all off them—"

"That's all of them?" Lucius asked, cutting Narcissa off.

Narcissa looked puzzled. "I—I think so. We couldn't have missed one, could we?"

"If we did, who'd blame us?" Lucius asked. "There's so many of them," he muttered.

Narcissa bit her lip. "I think there are seven children, two parents and a wife."

Lucius looked confused. "A wife?"

"Yes, Fleur! The French witch." Narcissa saw the look of confusion on her husband's face and sighed. "The Veela?"

Comprehension dawned. "The Veela! She's one of theirs, is she? I thought she was a relative of ours."

"Well, she is, distantly, but no, she is married to Bill."

"Bill. Which one is he?"

"The oldest, red hair—"

"Doesn't help."

"—rather tall—"

"Neither does that."

"Will you be quiet?" Narcissa demanded. "I'm trying to describe him, but it's hard when they all look the same!"

"Especially those twins," Lucius commented.

"Exactly! I only know which one is George because he has a freckle on the tip of his nose."

"So does Fred."

Narcissa blinked. "Pardon?"

"Fred. He too has a freckle on the tip of his nose."

"Are you sure?"

"Quite."

"So maybe I know Fred." Narcissa said worriedly.

"Or maybe I know George." Lucius said flippantly.

They both fell silent, trying to figure out who was right and which one was Fred and which one was George.

"We aren't having any more children, Narcissa. We'd never be able to tell Draco and It apart."

Narcissa said nothing and Lucius looked at her with shock. "Please tell me your silence isn't you trying to work out a way to tell me that you are pregnant and that you now think I am going to take the news badly because I have just said that I do not want to have more, due to the trouble of telling them apart, are you?"

Lucius had to wait a moment for Narcissa to digest his speech. "Lucius, there would be a large age gap. It would be easy to tell them apart."

"Oh, oh yes, you're right. Are you pregnant though? Just too clear up any confusion."

"As far as I am aware of, I am not. I'm dreadfully old to have more, don't you think?"

Lucius, sensing danger here, took the safe route and lied. "No! Why you're still young and beautiful. Just like when we first married."

Narcissa smiled. "Oh, you are good to me," she said before standing up and reaching for the doorknob. "Ready to face them all again?"

"No. Why didn't we join the Parkinsons in France?" Lucius asked as his wife left the cupboard and he was forced to follow.

* * *

**So there's chapter three. Thanks for reading and I appreciate anyone who reviews. **

**My beta for this chapter was 1ncognito again. So you can thank her in the review you leave.**


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